Three Truths, and a Lie
On rewriting your inner dialogue & choosing growth in small, honest ways
Truth #1
You can watch as many videos, read as many books you want, hire as many coaches as you want, but the only person who can change your life is you. We can ask for guidance, but we’re the ones responsible for the changing and healing. And this doesn’t need to be grand, this can start from changing one thought, from taking one step, from having one conversation.
I read this note on Substack recently that made me pause: “If someone followed you around for a week, would they believe you’re serious about you goals?”
Truth #2
Your words create your reality. This might be a bit cliché, but it cannot be more true. This includes how you speak to yourself, how you speak about yourself, what you say to yourself in your head, even you don’t verbalise it.
That’s why people give themselves pep talks before important events, because the way you speak to yourself changes whether you show up confidently or not. It also impacts our posture, interactions, and the way other people see us; this is basically what the spiritual principle ‘our inner world reflects our outer world’ means.
After I learned this, there are certain phrases I won’t say to myself :‘You’re a mess’, ‘you’re behind in life’, you’re not good enough’, ‘you’re so unorganised’.
This doesn’t mean turning a blind eye to my weaknesses, it just means that I reframe what I observe. Instead of “I’m a mess”, I think “How can I be more organised today”. Instead of “I am not good enough”, I ask “Where can I improve?”
Truth #3
You’re not obliged to be the same person as you were yesterday. Most of us have some parts of ourselves that’s unexpressed, whether it’s our music, art, or character. We don’t express it because it might not align with our usual personality or how we think we’re expected to be. But when we do that, we’re just trapped in our own prison. There’s no law saying we can’t decide to change our makeup, hobbies, our friendship circle, or the way we speak and walk.
In New York, what I love is that the people are so diverse, in a way that feels really liberating. It’s inspired me to change up my routine and style a little. When you approach yourself with the curiosity of someone you’re dating, life becomes so much more fun.
A Lie
You have to rush and burn out to ‘succeed’. So many productivity and self-help spaces glorify productivity, optimisation and hustling as the keys to success. What I’ve learnt, from observing aligned, balanced and grounded people I admire, like Sheleana Aiyana, Chelsea Kauai, and Emma Watson, is that the opposite is true.
Slowing down gives us space to notice what is working and what is not, to distinguish between intuition and reaction, to hear ourselves and what we actually want. As Cleo Wade said during her NYC book tour , “If I don’t slow down then I am just a series of reactions, slowing down gives us the time and space to know how we feel about anything .”
Her new book ‘In a World of Sunrises’ launched recently. Here’s one of my favourite pages:
INSPIRATION
“The world may be broken, but hope is not crazy.” – John Green
P.S My episode with Dr. Erica Matluck, ‘Tracing the Voice of Unworthiness’ is now live!
With love,
Claudia.