When we stay small, we hold our breath

“Your breath is shallow because you’re staying small.”

“Your breath is shallow because you’re staying small.”

That’s what my breath work instructor said to me when I took a breath work workshop last weekend.

During the workshop, I felt myself trying my hardest to inhale and exhale, yet my breathing capacity felt so limited. When the instructor said this, I was almost offended, I thought, ‘I’m already taking steps foward.”

Yet, deep down, I knew part of it was true.

Staying small as a coping mechanism

Sometimes, we stay small because we are scared of change. We are concerned about how others perceive us when we hold harder boundaries, speak in a more assertive way, when we stand taller, when we block out more time for ourselves.

Maybe in the past, or even now, there are circumstances that prevent us from showing up more fully — which to me also means showing up ‘bigger’.

It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be?” - Marianne Williamson

But most of the time, these fears are only in our heads. People who genuinely love us do so for who we are, not so much what we do. There will undoubtedly be people who judge us, or our art. But if we let this judgment stop us from being and doing what we want to do, we are the ones who ultimately suffer.

My breath work instructor also said, “The opinions of others is like a corset, stopping us from being who we truly are. Preventing us from taking the full inhales and exhales that make us feel alive.”

The myth of perfectionism

We do not need to be ‘perfect’ to fully take up space. ‘Perfect’ is not a destination that we can reach, there will always be more we can improve on and work on.

I’ve noticed people with high self-worth do not wait to be perfect to let themselves take up space. They risk putting themselves out there, knowing that whatever feedback they get is not a reflection of their worth.

Think about it — if entrepreneurs and artists didn’t take the risk to show up fully, to put their art out there, we would be missing out on so much. From Walt Disney to your favourite Youtuber, none of them waited until they were perfect to begin.

Showing up more fully

It can be scary to take steps towards what we really want, or more boldly express who we really are.

Something that has helped me to overcome this is knowing that my story and my art can inspire those on the same journey.

There are many ways I can be showing up more fully — sharing this newsletter more publicly on social media, incorporating my photography more etc.

The reason I stopped myself in the past was because I didn’t have 100% clarity; but I have to take my own advice now and remember that clarity comes from action.

Paying attention to where we can be ‘bigger’

To show up fully as ourselves, we first need to get clear on who we are. For those on a journey of self-discovery, I have created a 4-week Clarity Guide that might support you.

Remember, there are 8 billion people on this planet. Each person sees you through the lens of their own experiences. We can never truly ‘control’ how others see us, and that is freeing. So don’t hold back — when we share our light, the whole world benefits.

If you enjoyed this piece and want to support my writing, you can buy me a coffee ☕

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INSPIRATION

You don’t “find” yourself. You “return” to yourself. The path is inward. - lina ( a writer who writes a newsletter called ‘The Science of Being’)

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